When a marriage ends, it's natural to experience pain and a complex array of emotions. But when an ex-husband's behavior crosses the line into stalking, the situation turns from heartbreak to a dangerous and potentially life-altering threat. This shift from love to unhealthy obsession emphasizes the urgent need to take action to protect yourself.

Understanding Stalking Behavior

Stalking encompasses a pattern of behavior that causes fear and distress. Here's how to recognize it:

• Unwanted contact: Repeated phone calls, texts, emails, or attempts to contact you through social media.
• Following or surveillance: Appearing at your home, workplace, or other places you frequent, or tracking you physically or digitally.
• Unwanted gifts or threats: Sending unwanted items, making implicit or explicit threats of harm towards you or loved ones.

The Emotional Impact

Stalking by an ex-husband can be especially traumatizing given the shared history and past intimacy. You may feel:

• Intense fear and anxiety: The constant worry can disrupt sleep, concentration, and your feeling of safety.
• Isolation and self-blame: You may withdraw from others or blame yourself for his actions.
• Hypervigilance and distrust: Constantly feeling on guard can lead to difficulty forming new relationships and trusting others.

Protecting Yourself: What To Do

If you suspect you're being stalked by your ex-husband, act swiftly:

1. Document everything: Keep meticulous records of every incident, including dates, times, locations, and screenshots (if applicable).
2. Seek support: Confide in trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Contact support networks (see references below)
3. Limit communication: Cease all contact, even if he tries to manipulate you. Block his number and social media,
4. Alert authorities: Report stalking to the police and explore a restraining order. Do not hesitate to call 911 if you feel immediately threatened.
5. Safety planning: Create a safety plan with trusted individuals. Address home security and daily routines.

It's Not Your Fault, Help Is Available

Remember, you are not to blame for your ex-husband's actions. Stalking is a serious crime, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

References

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org
• Stalking Prevention Awareness & Resource Center (SPARC):
• VictimConnect Resource Center: Call 1-855-4-VICTIM or visit victimconnect.org

This situation may feel overwhelming, but with support and action, you can regain your power and build a life free from fear.